The Sieve and the Sand

by Run with the Hunted

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credits

released 03 June 2014

Recorded September 2013 @ Earth Capitol Studios in Los Angeles, CA

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Track Name: Silent Spring
I watched the sun rise
I saw myself die
I left the questions behind
To drift away like grains of sand
Carried away in the hands of time
It all slips through your fingers anyways so
Let someone else make sense of it all
When I look back on who I was
I see a fool giving too much of myself
To someone who didn’t care
Shouldering the weight of someone else’s pain
Living in the shadow of a mountain without a name
Look to the sky, wondering why
I left the joy in life behind me
I had to lose you, to find me
I had to choose you, to lose me
I had to lose you, to be happy
I’ll think of you every time it starts to rain
Watch the heavy grey clouds return
Remind myself of every painful lesson learned
Your memory is a tomb I left my youth inside
And I believe my best days are behind me
The love I’ve lost will never find me
Track Name: Over the Footbridge
Wrap your arms around your pain
And tell me how it feels
To hold onto the only thing
That will never leave you
Give yourself to a world
Indifferent to your plans
Expose your soul for all to see
And keep a steady hand
Wish I could try letting go
Still I hold tight and I know
When the sting of separation
Lingers long enough
You learn to hide the pain it brings
To keep from giving up
Just say “I do” and I promise to
Let this emptiness consume me
Close your eyes and try to see
That truth is blind to reason
Rest your bones where you lay your head
In the places where you’ll need them
Look inside and you’ll surely find
Broken dreams and the sweetest lines
Left out to rust and yet I must
Insist on feigning love
Wish I could try letting go
Still I hold tight and I know
When the sting of separation
Lingers long enough
You learn to hide the pain it brings
To keep from giving up
We are condemned to freedom
Loneliness is the human condition
Where should I look for answers?
Love is a sickness
Lust is a cancer
Watching friends becoming lovers
Holding hands, making plans
I’m on the outside looking in
Track Name: Line of Dissent
I am the son of a bitter man
Grasping at hope with a broken hand
I am the end of the family line
Defiant and mortal, I will carry this blood
With me into the shadows of time
To the ends of the earth
Over the edge of the known
Oblivion never felt as good
As living alone
Despoiled despot of a forgotten throne
Destined to die, waiting to try
I am not.
An empty vessel. Stock to breed.
The prodigal son of an everlasting plant to seed
I can not.
I will not.
I am not.
Immortal.
Track Name: Red Queen
We could be so much more
Than the sum of our failures
We could be so much more
Than a divided room searching for something more
We could be so much more
If we had something worth fighting for
We could be so much more
I tried to find the words to speak for a generation
With too many voices and nothing to say
We all live in the illusion that we have choices
We only have what they haven’t taken away
I tried to find the courage
To live another way
I tried to find the strength to walk the path they tried to hide
But my heart always knew the way
We were supposed to be different
Thought we had that in common
Empty minds for simple times
Sing simple songs for even emptier minds
We could be so much more
Than the sum of our failures
We could be so much more
Than a divided room searching for something more
And I have to wonder
How could you come so close
But choose to stay behind?
How could you glimpse the truth
But prefer to stay blind?
What kind of cowardice
Does it take to know what needs to be done
But refuse to have a stake
In being a part of something
That could have been
Should have been everything we are not
We were supposed to be different
Thought we had that in common
Empty minds for simple times
Sing simple songs for even emptier minds
The weight of an empty promise
Clasped inside of a clenched hand
The shame of so much wasted potential
Settling for less, I will never understand
We could be so much more
Reach beyond what you can see
Distracted youth, so easily amused
Scared of the truth, complacent and abused
Content to be perfectly ordinary
You can fall short but I refuse
Track Name: Mea Culpa
If I had one ounce of strength left
I’d use it to fight
But this time is different
I need to run and hide
Into the dark, away from the light
Where I can go to blur the lines
Between what is wrong and what is right
So much lost, so little gained
So much joy has turned to pain
I’m looking for a hand to hold
A warm body to thaw my freezing soul
Like rain weathering stone, soon I’ll be nothing more
Than the shell of a man, dying alone
So much lost, so little gained
So much joy has turned to pain
If I had the hope to heal
I’d take your pain and bear it
If I had the will to try
I’d be the first to wear it
But this world has broken me
Scatter my ashes above the trees
This world has broken me
Remember me with every falling leaf
This world has broken me
Forget me as rivers turn to streams
This world has broken me
I was nothing more than a melancholy memory
This world has broken me
So much lost so little gained
So much joy has turned to pain
Watched my pride turn to shame
Tried to hold onto a moment
So things might stay the same
Track Name: St. David
I remember summers in St. David
Warm air kissed by the sun
Breathing life into a world
Long since forgotten
Because you left your fields to wither and die
Withheld your love for a lifetime
You left us to rot in the garden you planted
Sowed the seeds of your own destruction
In a field of unending depression
Nurtured by an obsession
With a son who never cared
And a daughter left with the pain
Of your rejection
Too much for any flower to bear
An only grandson forgotten
A blossoming apple too rotten
To bear fruit for you to taste
To plant roots in your waste
I fell far from the tree
That you nursed with your hands
Because all of the branches
Were cursed on your land
When the last leaves fall to the ground
And your memory is nothing more than a distant sound
An echo without a wall
A tree destined to fall
In the woods
Where no one will hear the sound
Because I silenced them all
A thousand nights spent wondering why
I was so easy to leave behind
Cut off from your love
Like a weed growing in the shadows
Of an abandoned building
Inching towards the sun
So I shared the pain you left us with
A world destined to fall
I screamed until my lungs gave out with
A billion clenched fists pounding the walls
Beating the trunk of a giant destined to fall
And you fell
And when a tree falls
But no one is around to hear it
Does it really make a sound?
Can you hear it die if you’re near it?
When you took your own life
You left fuel for a fire that still burns inside me
I haven’t forgiven and I haven’t forgotten
I live in the ashes you left us to rot in
I hope you found what you were looking for in death
We’re still here, dying for an answer
Your love was a cancer
Track Name: The Sieve and the Sand
I spent a lifetime searching for a truth
That I could call my very own
Asked every question under the sun
Turned over every leaf
Looked under every stone
Is there a common thread that holds us together?
I pulled at what I could and only frayed the ends
I held my greatest fears in my own two hands
Never really knowing what it meant
To lose. To choose.To refuse.
Now I know
This world is what we make it
And I will make it without you
I will take it so you don’t have to
I will break it since I know how to
Imagine a world made of sand
No trees. No water. Not a single blade of grass
Just an empty wasteland
You could wander for years
Barely getting closer to the end
Or you could shut your eyes
And scorn the things
You simply fail to comprehend
The only truth worth knowing comes from within
The tighter you grip it
The more it slips through your fingers
A billion grains of sand
You could wander for years
Barely getting closer to the end
Or you could shut your eyes
And scorn the things
You simply fail to comprehend
But I refuse to break
I will shoulder the weight
Within my weakness, a newfound strength
Because you can never take
What was never yours:
My mind is mine
This is a quest for authenticity
This is a rejection of complicity
In a system that I never had a choice in
Living a life I could never find a voice in
No truth. Know Freedom
Know truth. No delusions

The only choice we ever really have
Is what lies we are willing to accept
And what truths we allow ourselves to see
I have chosen a truth that includes the narratives
Of those relegated to live beneath me
In an exploitative hierarchical system
That profits off the suffering of the defenseless
I refuse to live with the ignorance of other’s suffering
I refuse to ignore the consequences of my choices
I refuse to admonish responsibility for the changes
That I am capable of
Reject power.
Destroy hierarchy.
Resist authority.
True liberation comes from within
We are everything we need
The most you’ll ever need
The best you can ever be
Is an authentic human being
True to yourself
It’s like the sieve and the sand
It’s slipping right through my hands
What will it take for me to understand?