1. |
Introspective
01:39
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every light that shines
will find a quiet place to die
every truth we tell
will eventually become a lie
i try and i try and i try to understand
but there is so much about this world and myself
that i will never grasp
there’s only so much i can say
things can never be the same again
i can never be the same
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2. |
Magna Cum Laude
03:08
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i've got a pretty piece of paper
sealed in tempered glass
hanging on my wall
they told me it was a ticket
on a one way road to success
they told it was a guarantee
but what they didn't tell me:
it was a guarantee
for a life spent slaving for my own greed
cause it's really just a cog in a machine
that's killing my mother
just a bullet in a gun pointed straight at my father
just a fucking collar i get to wear
and you expect me to live like this?
til’ i break my will to see another way
til’ i'm tired, broken and empty just like them
how do i tell them their entire lives were wasted?
stolen from them by habit and routine
perpetuated by their desire to breed
in the end am i just a tool
just a part of their machine?
now i'm staring at my reflection
and i don't know whether to feel proud or disgusted
and you expect me to live like this:
an old and broken man who said his piece
who threw out the truth and let it die in the streets
lived a life that he didn't want
loved a wife that he'd rather have not
keeping himself company between worn and weathered sheets
a model constructed to copy and follow
prescribed lies coated, fucking easy to swallow
degrees of happiness like shades of gray
never living a life just filling a series of days
and you expect me to live like this?
and you expect me to live like this?
and you expect me to live like this.
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3. |
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look into my eyes
and tell me what you see
reflections of the man that i used to be
like the light from a star in a distant galaxy
it took such a long time to reach me
living in darkness.
torn in half
ripped apart at the seams
exposed. alone.
flesh ripped from bone
this is what it's like to be me
my body's all but forgotten how to tell joy from pain
in the end it's all the same
living in darkness.
i wrap myself in sheets made of glass
to disfigure this flesh
to hide this pain
to cover this mask
inside i'm ugly
outside i'm broken
there exists a place between two worlds
where the only colors are gray and shapes have no meaning
i'm awake when i sleep and i dream beneath the sun
but i feel no warmth, i'm the only one
set me free
let me wallow in this pain
let me bask in its beauty
at least i have control
at least your life goes on
there is no shame only truth in this misery
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4. |
Sycophant
01:49
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i used to want to succeed
so i could realize my dreams
but now i've got a new motivation
forcing open your mouth and feeding you my frustration
i want to watch you choke on the lines that you fed me
pry open your jaw with the force that's required
tear bone from tendon
find the truth in a liar
your carefully laid plans, all for nothing
your tired aching hands, all for nothing
your life so empty, you're missing something (it's me)
and you cast a pretty tall shadow
but now it's time to move on
we're freezing and starving
you're blocking out the sun for the rest of us
but if i could have it any way
what i really want more than anything
is to watch you fail
i want to watch you fail
your silence so righteous
come lay down besides us
we sleep in a bed of nails
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5. |
Occam's Razor
02:22
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give me shelter, give me love
give me pressure from above
cause i can't shake the feeling
you're on your knees for nothing
so here's your chance to bathe me in light
take my wrongs and make them right
give me peace and give me war
give me faith in something more
just teach me how to believe
show me what you see
cause the only heaven i know is earthly
and the only faith i found was blind
so here's your chance to bathe me in light
take my wrongs and make them right
collective heads in the sand
holding onto dreams with holes in your hands
i want to be on the right side
i want to feel righteousness
can you promise me eternity?
i want it all for all the world to see
i want to know what i'm missing
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6. |
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so x marks the spot yah?
x marks the spot
where you left a piece of yourself to die
extinct in an epoch
when giants roamed the land
casting shadows over clocks made useless
and if we can't tell time
we'll wait forever
until distant words come together
so plot a course yah?
plot a course
draw dotted lines right to the end
but the spaces between reveal everything
you never wanted me to know
i stood knee deep in the mess you left me
til' my bones filled with fluid drowning marrow
it all soaked through, it always does and now
the wrinkles and inseams stitch together a pretty portrait
of right angles made by fools
perfection is just another word for hopelessness
and at this intersection
standing on the edge of the earth
we'll wait forever
until the corners of this map eventually overlap
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7. |
Synesthesia
03:55
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i threw my voice to the wind
and hoped it would carry enough weight
to fall with grace, we're all falling
all struggling, all suffering, all calling out for a place
i'm just looking for answers
but i found bodies writhing on the floor
fingers grasping out for more
desperate eyes straining longing for a vision
abused hearts yearning for a final incision
to cut away to the pain
i ran my fingers through every blade of grass and every grain of sand
as if it were the last of its kind because the world that i see now
is a moment frozen in time
like the calm before the storm
the final scene of a crime
a final testament to our failure
a mouthful of bitter truth digested into lies
bodies writhing on the floor
fingers grasping out for more
desperate eyes straining longing for a vision
abused hearts yearning for a final incision
to cut away to the pain
when my body decays
and my memory fades
how else can i say?
these words are all i have
deepening with every passing breath
slow absorption into tangled myths of self and soul
delving through scars
as seekers of solace carving through the chambers of the heart
we scrape away memories
hoping to heal
but it never seems to end
we are all struggling
we are all suffering
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8. |
Silent Conversations
01:32
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i see the look on your face when you come home every night
defeated and tired, no longer inspired
the weight of the world has you pinned at the neck
and i understand your position
you did what you had to do
and the selflessness
shouldn't be confused with apathy
you put all your faith in the future
and that future was me
but i'll never be what you want me to be
don't expect too much from me
you left me a world unfit to inhabit
dead and dying, still i'm trying
to swallow your failure
it tastes so bitter
fuck your generation and fuck posterity
we were born to fall short
so here's to you and yours
a generation of never was
we were born to fall short
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9. |
Signs of Life
03:24
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my eyes are tired
but i could never close them
tight enough to learn
how to see their lies again
i learned a lesson today
and its begun to unmake me
the beliefs that i carry
have finally begun to break me
look at what they make you give
sacrifice your life to live
and all i ever wanted
was to ease their fear and pain
now i've got nothing left
who am i to complain?
look at what they make you give
sacrifice your life to live
smother my will to try
nurture my will to die
the truth will set you free
but it will weigh you down
tired of the pain and tired of the questions
tired of the journey, sick of the depression
i stand before you, bent but not broken
weak in the knees, silently outspoken
i need this time to breathe
need something new to believe
because today i feel hopeless
today i haven't got the strength to fight
today i haven't got the strength
tomorrow i might
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10. |
Silverfish
02:55
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if i told you nothing's ever good enough for me
would you play judge or jury?
if i said that i was happily unhappy
would you even believe me?
i'm just a cynic and i know it
i'm just a liar disguised as a poet
don't let me drag you down
i'll run your dreams into the ground
tear down the things that scare me
keep my expectations low to prepare me
for what i know will eventually come
drawing maps inside my head so i know where to run
i'm just a cynic and i know it
i'm just a liar disguised as a poet
don't let me drag you down
i'll run your dreams into the ground
i hide the truth in a mountain of lies
i walk alone in a forest of eyes
they see right through me
you'd have to bend me to break me
you'd have to unmake me to make me
do it again, and i probably would
stick a knife through these scars
open up old wounds just to see what's inside
see what i’m made of
i could write a line to right a wrong
and i could write a song so they could sing along
but this path i walk is mine alone
"heavy lies the crown"
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11. |
Reversal of Fortune
04:06
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i sold my faith to make this right
i killed myself for you tonight
what we leave behind is hardest to find
so don't look back i left a mess
the things that once moved me now cease to amuse me
i traded happiness for honesty
the things that once moved me now merely confuse me
i miss the bliss of ignorance
steady me, my hands are shaking
silence me, my jaw is aching
we think different thoughts inside of the same head
we sleep on different sides of the same bed
the things that once moved me now cease to amuse me
i traded happiness for honesty
the things that once moved me now merely confuse me
i miss the bliss of ignorance
there is a violence inside me this world has never known
there is a hatred that guides me that i have never shown
i found a piece of myself worth saving
i'll learn to love it yet
i found hope in imperfection
i found comfort in death
so lay me down and sing me to sleep
when i wake up tomorrow, i will be free
when the sun rises, i can finally be
something more than me.
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